


Hold Me Down

by a_court_of_feysand11



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, F/M, Other, Post- A Court of Mist and Fury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 10:32:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9067831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_court_of_feysand11/pseuds/a_court_of_feysand11
Summary: Prompt: Use the lyrics of your favorite song as the basis for a short story. This is based on the song "Hold Me Down" by Halsey.
Feyre is in the Spring Court as spy for the Night Court. She is pretending to be the damsel that Tamlin wants. The High Lady knows she has to play the game the right way if she will make it out alive.
This is the first time I have ever written anything but not the first thing I have posted on here. I hope I did alright but here is my debut fanfiction.





	

It was dark. 

Much darker than the last time I was here. It felt like what I remembered, the life in this placed, had died along with the old me. Marks covered the walls, deep gouges, from Tamlin’s rage when I had left. I knew Lucien had said it was bad but I would have never guessed that with me it would have died the way it did.

There was a hush that remained over the manor constantly, as if any ill made noise or action may set off a beast. The darkness that infest the Spring Court was a corrupt darkness and gave me no comfort like the darkness from back home.

All this made me angry. It also made me sad. All the fae I had met here were gone. I didn’t know what Tamlin had done to them but that didn’t matter now. What matter was appeasing Tamlin. Making him think I was the docile puppet I had been before. He would have no idea that I was dangerous until I choose to show him. I was going to take what I wanted from his court and make it mine. He may be the devil but I was a goddess.

-

I had been here nearly two weeks and my patience was waning. I felt Rhys at the end of the bond but our connection wasn’t as strong as it was before Hybern and this was putting me in a bad mood. 

I felt the love vibrating down the bond. But also, rage and frustration. There was nothing Rhys could do for me in the Night Court but he trusted me to handle this

Around me sat my paintings from before everything changed. They were the lone thing in the house that seemed untouched by Tamlins fits. Sitting here felt more unnatural than anything else I did here but Tamlin needed to see me the way he wanted and this was part of the mask I had to wear.

While sitting and idly painting Tamlin came in. He looked at me in the way he had since I returned. 

A mix between relief and uncertainty. 

Like he could sense things were different but he didn’t want to acknowledge it.

"I just came in to see what you were working on. We haven’t had a chance to be around each other much since you came home,"

His voice trailed off at the look that I couldn’t help from flashing across my face. The anger, the demons in me fighting to tell him, to show, who I really was and have him fear me.  
Instead I put on my doe-eyed mask and smiled at him.

"I’ve missed you. I’ve missed this being here,“ I soothed “Why don’t you sit and I’ll paint you?” 

Tamlin just watched me for a moment, then he relaxed into a smile that once would have charmed me and eased across a chair in front of me. He was wearing a three-piece suit. Looking very out of place. I think he had been in a meeting with someone but he had never said who.

"I’ve been gone so long Tam,“ I started.

Never looking up from the painting in front of me I began with his outline. “What happened since I left, everything’s so…different,”

He shifted in front of me looking uncomfortable with the way I steered the conversation.

After thinking for a moment “Listen Feyre, I know it’s going to be hard coming here after everything you’ve gone through. I don’t know it it’s the best idea talking about all that’s happened since you left."

I stopped painting. "Don’t you trust me? When I got back you promised Tam that it wouldn’t be like last time. No secrets, no lies. I’m not fragile anymore,” I bristled, struggling to keep my composure.

"You were just so close with him. Ianthe hasn’t had a chance to make sure you are protected from him,“

At that I stopped painting all together to look at him.

A snarl came out "Don’t mention her Tamlin, she destroyed my sister’s lives,”

Tamlin flinched, uncertainty in his eyes again.

"She’s apologized Feyre, she didn’t know that’s what Hybern wanted to do with your sisters,“

Here was someone I had thought I loved, who I thought loved me in return defending a woman who has torn my sisters lives apart. A man I went to hell and back for who didn’t deserve it. Trying to hold me down again. Trying to keep me from my true potential. How did I not see this man for who he truly was before? He took away my voice and my worth and now he is taking me from what I lived for. My sisters. My family. My mate.

I was walking a fragile line though and I had to play it safe. I couldn’t push Tamlin.   
Not today.

I inhaled. 

Exhaled.

Wore my mask.

"Of course. I understand. Soon, though? Maybe we can meet with Ianthe soon and settle all this. Then maybe you could fill me in?”

Tamlin visibly relaxed at that. “Yes, soon. She’ll be over tonight for dinner. Maybe we can start discussing it then.”

"Anything you say Tam,“ I conceded.

"Feyre,” he started

"Yes Tam?“

"You are holy to me. I have no other way to describe it. You are Prythians savior and irreplaceable to me. I can't… I won’t lose you again!”

I smiled. A snake hidden behind beautiful flowers. I was just waiting to strike.

"You won’t lose me Tamlin,“ because I was never yours to begin with. 

The silence that filled the room after that was heavy. Secrets laced every breath between us.

Tamlin had broken me before but now I would break him. The roles had reversed and I was now the devil in the Spring court. Patiently waiting for the right moment to show my true colors.

Setting down the paint brushes I looked up at Tamlin ” I think I’m done for the day. I want to take a nap before tonight,“

My magic needed stretching, tonight I was going to need it, and I couldn’t very well do that in here with him.

"Can I see it?” Tamlin asked.

“Not now,” I purred “I’m not done with you yet,”


End file.
